The Apology : Murder (Part 1)


While it’s true that I killed a lot of people, I never see myself as a murderer. “You are just in the state of denial,” people may tell me but I begged to differ. It’s simply because I believe the true meaning of the word murderer is someone who kills for no valid reason which means that they are mentally stable, non-psychopathic human beings who just kill for things like revenge, hate, etc. Unlike them, I kill because I was forced too by the voices in the head. Sure, there was one time that I killed someone because of anger but am I really mentally stable at that time? Is someone who starts to show characteristics of mental disorientation still mentally stable?

Some might say ‘yes’ but I will strongly disagree. One might tell me that I was just justifying my killing, saying that I was either mentally ill or simply forced to do it and I might not be able to refute that even when I really try my best to. The only problem I have with the idea of “process of mental disorientation” is that I don’t believe there’s one. What I believe in is that some people are just born that way which is why they should be exempted from any kind of punishment if they killed someone because something bad that happened that is not in anybody’s control is always justifiable. If someone is born is a certain way, they shouldn’t be expected to change into someone “better” because the concept of someone “better” or “normal” is nothing but a stupid, idiotic social construct.

While I’m no longer religious, I still believe in a God and the only reason why I refuse to worship God is simply that an arrogant, non-omnibenevolent diety doesn’t deserve to be worshipped. What I find weird is no religious people that I know ever said that God is a murderer. Take any religious text and you will see God killing a whole society just because some group of people went against his teachings. I happen to believe that killing people someone doesn’t want to believe in you is pure evil and is indeed an act of murder which means you’re a murderer. Sure some might argue that God created humans and gave them happiness, good health, etc, but, nobody chose to be created thus, they shouldn’t be expected to do anything that God told them to.

Therefore, whenever someone asked me if I believe in God, I would always say yes because I do but God for them is the Devil for me. I believe that only the Devil would create people just to worship him and what’s worse, demanding people to worship him in a certain way only. However, I never tell people the second half of what I believe in simply because it’s way easier to just not tell the full truth. You will have people defending terrorists more than people who would stand up and fight against discrimination of atheists around the world even when atheists don’t harm the society in any way whatsoever. This somehow reminded me of a murder to committed against someone that was so religiously bigotted…

(To be continued)


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